body image b.s.

i don't care how beautiful you are, or how intelligent or how secure, i would say everyone of us has a hang-up. I can't think of anyone i have ever known who hasn't had an issue with body-image, whether it be theirs or someone else's. i think with maturity and age, you realize that no one is perfect, and you learn to stop beating yourself up about your own imperfections. you begin to accept yourself for what you are, love yourself because you are unique and the only YOU you have. And somewhere out there, someone is going to love you for those flaws or because of those flaws. that is how it all works.

a friend drew my attention to a blog entry that i thought was amazing, and it gave me much food for thought. It is entitled "10 rules for fat girls" and is written by a woman who states that she is 300 pounds. It is an incredible read, and even if you are not overweight, i think it is quite insightful, for any one to read no matter what size. here is the link:

http://diannesylvan.com/?p=1358

I love what she says, but most importantly i love the fact that she writes about ending the cycle of shame, to not pass on body image issues to a younger generation. Life is hard enough for kids without their parents knocking on their looks or their shape. Self-deprecating comments only make children question "well, if that is wrong with them, what is wrong with me? everyone says i look just like them...." How are others going to love you if you don't show love for yourself? Also, don't talk crap about other people, it doesn't make you feel better about yourself, and well you just sound like a bitch. this was a hard one for me to learn, because it is quite normal for girls to grow up being catty about looks since so much importance is put on them. If you pick on everyone else, so will your child. where do we think bullying comes from? another wonderful thing learned at home!

most of my life, from teenage years until recently, i have had issues with my curves- especially the size of my hips. luckily for me, a few things have changed to take my focus off of my most hated feature. first of all, i grew up and realized the size of my hips was not a real issue like famine, racism, and well death. if my hips all of a sudden shrunk, would the world be a better place? no. secondly, my thyroid crapping out on me. now i have an actual health issue to deal with, something that will keep my body from feeling its best. no time to worry about hip size when i need to worry about feeling good and having energy. thirdly, i now have 2 beautiful girls that i don't want to hear me say anything negative about my own body. sure i am not as thin as i was pre-babies or pre-hypothyroidism, but it is much better to talk about being healthy and fit than despairing over a few extra pounds and inches. thin does not equate healthy! 'nuff said!

like i said earlier, for girls it is hard to get through life without worrying about looks. every so often when i tell Ruby that i love her, i tell her why. not only because she is beautiful, but because she is a great sister, and a wonderful daughter. because she is caring and kind to her friends. because she has a great laugh, and a super imagination...the list goes on and on until she tells me to stop. we are the sum of all parts, not just the physical. it is a lesson that needs to be learned early on in life.

lastly, to my friend who has thought she was fat since we were teenagers. shut up, and get over it. you are beautiful just the way you are, and if you lost 30 pounds or gained 300, you still would be. people love you for being smart and funny, and for being you. i have friends of all shapes and sizes, and i love them each for being my friend not for what size trousers they wear.