in the mother-hood

i don't know what it is like where you are, but here in dunbar it seems that there are different types of moms, and honestly they don't mix well. think back to your high school cafeteria, and the various different groups that sat together in their places, not mixing with the 'others', keeping to their own kind and bad-talking other types. now think of this scenerio with the people about 15 years older placed on a playground, and you have life in dunbar's mother-hood.

there are a myriad of different cliques, but they can be broken down into 2 larger groups: the mommies who work and those who stay at home. for some reason it seems that the mommies that go off to jobs see themselves as "having it all" and look down upon the mommies who are "only moms". the working mother tends to talk about work while at the park, and talk about their kids when on the train so that they are set apart from the other women who don't fit into their circumstances. they let the stay-at-home moms know that their life is "hard but worth it" that they were "bored at home with the kids" and felt "unfulfilled". few will say it was an economic decision to return to work, but only as an aside.
i am truly blessed to be able to be in the latter group, the gang of women who can and wants to stay home to raise their child(ren). sure it would be easier economically if i worked, but we made a decision that it was important for me to be home with our most important asset. i agree with what all the working moms say: my job is hard but worth it. but unlike them, spending time with the coolest kid in the world rarely makes me feel bored or unfulfilled. going to playgroup, hanging at the park, and going on bikerides and walks with ruby- there is no place i would rather be.
many people have mistakenly pegged me as a feminist, although i have never considered myself one. when they find out that i have given up a career that i love to be a mom, they are floored and intrigued as to why. many of these same people remember me saying "i don't want to have kids", but hey, i changed my mind.... although i would call myself an egalitarian rather than a feminist, to me feminism isn't about being a member of the workforce and not having children. being a feminist is about being able to make your own choices about why you want to do, not having someone else tell you what you are going to do or how far you can go. you can be a strong independent woman and still be a stay-at-home mom. those things aren't mutually exclusive in my book.
do i get bored? do i miss teaching? sure at times, but doesn't every job get a little dull? but yesterday when ruby and i were at playgroup and she picked up a crayon for the first time and scribbled on a bit of paper, well.. there was no where else i would rather be. The "OOOH" she voiced and the grin that came over her face as she grabbed a bunch of crayons in her right hand and held them up in the air to show them to me was priceless.... especially for a girl who was named for a friend of mine who was an artist himself before he died. how could i want to be anywhere else?