5 weeks of florida

there is nothing quite like getting out of Scotland for a few weeks during the winter. this winter being particularly foul, i was very happy to be heading to Florida for 5 weeks (although sad that david could only be with us for the first 2 weeks). It was a grand time, although i didn't see half the people i thought i would, but that is the way life is when you have 2 babies with you. Ruby did get to make some new friends, and people finally did get to meet Esme, and those were the 2 important reasons for this trip. funny that the more i get acclimated to life in the UK, the more i miss the US?
and how was the sun you ask? there, but not hot enough. i wanted to really go to the beach, bake in the sun, swim in the ocean, smell coconut suntan lotion on the breeze.... but atleast it was warmer than dunbar for 5 glorious weeks!!!

40? really?

i hit the milestone age of 40 today. I really thought i wouldn't handle it very well, i thought i might flip out, maybe buy a sportscar or something. nope. nothing. no depression, no crazy thoughts, it was just another birthday. good, i am really glad that i have come to terms with 40 before it hit.

about 6 months ago i was really worried, and i kept thinking about my last birthday that caused me to really freak out. that would be when i turned 24. i know, 24? seems like a weird age, but it was a hard milestone for me. i really thought that by 24 i would have my life together and have things figured out. but all i really was doing was working a menial job, partying, drinking lots of booze, and going nowhere fast. i thought i would have a career by then at the least! but no, my 4 years of university left me qualified to answer phones, be a barista, or even worse, clean up lots and lots of dog crap. it is easy to say that i felt lost, and i had no idea where i was headed at 24.

16 years later, i am pretty happy with myself and my circumstances. if i would have had a crystal ball at 24 and saw myself now, i don't really know what i would have thought. my ideas of what i wanted out of life were so different then. i did not want kids, i wasn't too sure about marriage, and i thought i would have a career in academia. living abroad would probably be seen as a plus, but i think i would have seen myself somewhere more tropical with a bigger population than little Dunbar. but go through those 16 years between 24 and 40, all the things i witnessed and lived through, my life fits me just fine. just fine indeed, even if i am now only 10 years away from 50.

being thankful

instead of complaining about not being able to be in the US for Thanksgiving, this year i decided i should take stock of what i am truly thankful for....

1) my health-


i am feeling so much better than i did 6 months ago. when i had my blood test done last week, it came back that the dose of thyroxin that i am currently taking (50mcg) is doing the trick, and that my levels are back to normal. it is great that this one little pill that i take eachday makes me a sane person once again, and i am grateful that at almost 40 years, this is all that i have to deal with health wise.


2) my little nuclear family-


everyday i think about how lucky i am. i have 2 healthy, beautiful girls. Sure, sometimes they drive me to distraction, but i wouldn't sell them off, or even trade them in. i have a great marriage with a super husband. sure, i don't want to sound all pathetic and mushy, but it is true. i really lucked out in the man department. David takes really good care of us, he loves the girls to the moon & back, and he realizes that i have the harder job! what else could a person ask for?


3) my success-


no, i am not a millionaire. no i don't have fame, or some high power career. i am a mom and a wife, and i try to be a damn good one. ihave some blips, but i am trying, and there are no major blips that will cause the end of the human race as we know it. just little times when i lapse, but they i usually apologize for my blip. my success is tied directly into my health. now that i am feeling better, and have more energy, i have become myself again. i am happier, more fun, less stressed, less likely to flip out, and more likely to listen to the needs of my family. what other success could there be than to raise 2 healthy, smart, fearless girls? remember, the revolution begins at home!!!!


4) the internet-


yep, without the internet i would be in pretty bad shape. i miss my friends and family and this vital link makes my life a little easier. what would i do without being able to chat, skype, flickr, email, and facebook?


even though i am sad that i am not at home for Thanksgiving, I can yell "29 more days"! i can't wait to be in the states, even if i am missing all my peeps on the west coast yet again.

egads

about a year ago i posted. also about a year ago is the last time i wrote in my journals. about 3 years ago is the last time i actually wrote something that made me feel like i could have called myself a writer. so excuse me for my lapse, i have been quite busy.

today finds me the mom of a 38 month old Ruby and a 15 month old Esme. you can imagine how busy i am. the only reason i am able to write this is because Ruby and Esme are transfixed by Dora the Explorer at this precise moment. this could change. ruby could decide that she actually wants something for breakfast, or esme could come in wanting up on my lap to pound the keyboard. so don't get too excited about seeing a post here.....

i won't even attempt a year catch-up. if people read this, then please look at our flickr pics to see what we have truly been up to. i have been able to keep pics uploaded regularly, it is really my sunday morning ritual to wake up and post pics while drinking a coffee. those pics speak a million words and they show how good my life is....

for months i was not feeling very well, and i kept being told "well you just had a baby, of course you feel poorly!" but i knew it was more than that. sure i should be tired with my lack of sleep, busy mommy schedule and normal stress... but it was beyond that. i knew it, my body knew it. when esme hit 13 months, i knew the old "new baby" excuse couldn't hold up, and i had pretty much decided that i was either in need of anti-depressants OR my thyroid wasn't working properly. Luckily my doctor listened to me, ran a bunch of bloodwork and found out that it was my thyroid. yep, welcome to the world of hypo-thyroidism! i have a great network of friends, and amazingly a large number of people i know are in the same thyroid boat, so i had amazing resources thrown at me. i have now been on my meds (Levothyroxine + loads of herbs and vitamins) over 2 months, and i feel better. not 100%, but better. my mental health is better, my energy levels are better, my metabolism is better, and i am not as much of a pain in the ass as i have been lately... well that is what david says, and he should know better than anyone.

Ruby is amazing. beautiful, smart, funny, caring. we have had some rough patches navigating through the twos, i won't act like it has always been easy, but she is a very good girl. i think part of it is that we realized we had a highly senstive child so we needed to understand that better. I am glad that we came to that information before she started nursery on August 20th, because it helped to make that transition easier for all of us, and to make sure that we listen to ruby more about what she needs and how she copes with certain situations. She is a conundrum at times, a risk taker who doesn't like lots of commotion in her personal space, noise sensitve but can scream like a hollywood actress, a very social/talkative girl who is very reserved in new situations, who likes to sit back and observe before she joins in... it can be hard-work, but rewarding.

Our little Esme isn't a baby anymore! seeing her sitting next to her sister with crayons in hand, it is remarkable that she is almost a toddler! i say almost because she still will not walk. she can climb anything, go up and down stairs, push the toy stroller and ride on her toy lion... but she will not walk! she is getting better, and we are pushing for her to walk on Halloween! This is just indicative of her nature, she is very laid back and mellow. She is very outgoing, loves music, and likes to joke around. She quickly has won Gratch over, and he is clearly her dog now. She has begun to talk, with her first real word being "that" while she points her finger. so funny!

As for the only man in the house, David is doing fine. Currently he is working on making halloween decorations so we can be that one weird house in all of Dunbar that goes ALL OUT on Halloween. It will be easy, because it isn't like it is in the US when it comes to Halloween. He is using "the machine in the shed" (CNC router) that he built to cut out all sort of spooky shapes. this is of course done after work and after all his dad duties, so he is quite busy as usual.

Autumn Catch-up

yeah, i know, i know... i have been just a little busy and well one of the things i let slide is the blog. i haven't had too many complaints, but i assume that is because everyone realizes that having a 2 year old and a new baby is hard work. well, some days it is. but on others it goes really really well.

Esme will be a whopping 5 months old tomorrow, and it has been going incredibly fast. At first she was a very stoic baby, but in the past few weeks she has become very smiley, talkative and giggly. She is very mellow and has been an easy baby- easy to get to sleep, easy to soothe, easy to cuddle. Although breastfeeding didn't work out for us, we have bonded well and she fits perfectly into our little family unit. She is anxious to sit up and is always very curious as to what is going on around her. The past few days she has begun blowing raspberries constantly and finds the spit that goes all over everything quite hysterical.

Ruby has become quite the doting bigger sister. There are constant kisses and hugs to the point that she does not want Esme to nap at all! We keep waiting for the shoe to drop and jealousy to set in, but so far we have been very lucky.

Lately Ruby has been singing and dancing all over the house, doing somersaults and practicing "ballet". She is also very into cooking in her little kitchen thanks to watching Ratatouille. She still draws quite often, and wants you to read to her all the time. She has been potty trained for the past 2 months and is enjoying being a "big girl".

This Halloween marked our first attempt at trick-or treating. The weather was quite mild, and Ruby thought it was quite great to knock on people's doors, yell at them and then be given candy. We hit a few houses in the neighbourhood and ended things up at the Grandparents' house. Thanksgiving is always a hard time for me, it is such a family oriented day and no matter how hard I try to pull it off over here, it isn't the same without the Macy's Parade, NFL and the family political 'discussions' that happen in the States.

The weather has turned foul, so we are spending more time indoors. We have been fighting off colds of one type of another for about 3 weeks, and hibernating more than I would like. Ruby has been a little moody at times, and has learned quickly what a 'Time out' is... she doesn't like them at all. Part of her moodiness is just plain being 2 years old, and some of it is because her best friend Max has moved away. We really miss him and his mom around here....

We are now getting geared up for Nana's visit, David's winter vacation, Santa and Hogmanay!

Esme's arrival

I am attempting to play catch-up. Life has been pretty darn busy what with a toddler, a newborn and visitors here. Some things have been put to the wayside as I learn to cope with the logistics of changing 2 nappies in the morning, and feeding 2 hungry babies at the same time. it is getting easier, but some things have been left undone....

Esme Siena was born on July 3rd at 2:43 pm in Edinburgh. Compared to my last birth, this one was a cakewalk! I finally got to have the birth that i dreamt of having the first time around. I think it must be the gods deciding to finally be nice to me, the last month of my pregnancy had been horrific-constant pain- so i think i had earned an easy delivery!

22 months old

june 2nd flew past us here. could be the amazing weather we have been experiencing, or it could be that things are quite hectic right now. david is working alot, i am quite uncomfortable/tired, and ruby is always on the go! not to mention we have a pretty lengthy 'to-do' list that i wrote up last month that we are trying to tick our way through before the baby arrives. there are not enough hours in a day to get everything finished, and as the days pass i realize that i am not yet ready to give birth!
ruby is doing great. no more baby babbling, she is talking in sentences and is very clear with her speech. she is also becoming a little more head-strong lately, but with david and i as her parents, this is to be expected. she is still shy and gentle with people, but she is getting to know her own mind well. luckily we have yet to get into the temper tantrums of the 2 year olds, but is there any way to avoid that? if there is, let me know so i can get started!
i am now 36 weeks pregnant, and not happy. i think this baby is going to be huge! where ruby would kick me in the rib every so often, this baby has the foot planted there 100% of the time. my mind says "4 more weeks" but my body is saying "now! get it out!" maybe a few days early would be good, i have no clue what to get David for Father's day, so maybe a brand new baby would be a good gift?