countdown to christmas

the tree is up. christmas crafty-ness has begun. letters are written to santa. amazon wishlist is updated. and the girls are very excited for the holiday. i am starting to realize that the christmas holiday will need some deft maneuvering on my part to make sure that the girls don't get overly materialistic or brainwashed for the holiday. a hard thing to do when christmas is everywhere.

recently a good friend of mine told me "if you celebrate christmas you are a christian", which made me laugh in its stupidity. but then i thought about it, and realized that i really wish this was the case. I wish that christmas wasn't about buying copious amounts of toys and gifts. I wish christmas was something that was kept sacred for those who do believe in Jesus, and that the rest of us weren't pulled along by the commercialism of it all. To be honest, I feel like a hypocrite celebrating the birth of Jesus, and most of us non-believers should. I have contemplated trying to have only a "winter solstice" or "yule" celebration but i am fully aware that my girls expect Christmas in all its glory. It is a hard one, but one I will leave for future years, when the girls will understand.

One of my oldest and dearest friends was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness and never celebrated Christmas. Although she was told this was the right way, I know she always hoped for a Christmas celebration and felt left out when the holidays came around. I don't want my daughters to feel as if they were forbidden a Christmas when so many others celebrate it without any religious connection. Because truly, Ruby and Esme have no clue what Christians mean by Christmas. Even after attending the school Nativity play (don't get me started) Ruby still didn't get it. When I asked what Christmas was all about, Ruby said "angels and fairies" which was an OK answer for me.

So for now, we open up our chocolate advent calendar daily and count down the days until Santa comes on his sleigh delivering toys to the good little boys and girls. As usual we don't spend too much, but have some good ol' family time together.

autumn

Autumn and Spring are my favourite seasons, contrary to popular belief. Most would think that it was summer since i have proven to be such a sun-lover. But what I like about Spring and Autumn is that they remind us that life is constantly in flux, that things change, and that the colours of rebirth are the most beautiful of all.
I have many friends who are christian, and i won't diss them for their belief, but i have always seen life as cyclical, and therefore i have always believed that reincarnation is a grand probability. I don't mean the "i was marilyn monroe in my past life" or "i hope i come back as a housecat" type of reincarnation. What i mean is the thermodynamic idea that energy can not be created nor destroyed. I am going to wax hippy right here by saying that my chi has been here and will be here forever. That makes me happy, as the idea of heaven is comforting to some. To me autumn and spring are a visual and certain representation of this idea, so i am always happy to see the firey blaze of a tree in fall even if it means i will be freezing my ass off pretty soon. because after the cold those green tendrils of life will start to poke up out of the dirt and live all over again. (no i am not going to break into that Lion King song...)
Speaking of life and death, my grandmother died this past month, on November 27th. She died after a long battle of lymphoma, and i am sad that i had not seen her since 2005. To be honest, she was really my step-grandma, she was my maternal grandfather's second wife, but she was the only grandmother that i really liked. Grandma Doris was an optimist, a go-getter,a giver, a liver of life. yay for the positive people, boo to cancer.
we have been staying busy in dunbar. Ruby is taking swimming lessons 2 times a week, once as a private lesson and the other in her normal swim class. Esme is now going to playgroup one day a week, to get her more used to playing with a whole room of screaming children her own age. she starts pre-school next year (pre-school is 2 years here), so she best get used to the craziness! I helped with the Used Toy Sale at school which went very well. It always amazes me how much people will pay for other people's junk! i mean, look at ebay! but thankfully we raised over £400 for the pre-school classes, and had a good time too.