Happy Thanksgiving!

nothing makes you more homesick than Thanksgiving. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it is the food, or the American-ness of the holiday, or just the fact that you know the rest of your family is together. Perhaps it is all 3....
David is at work, I am attempting to make something Thanksgiving-y (pumpkin pie in oven, turkey burgers, stove-top stuffing, and maybe corn casserole), but it isn't the same. I can't even get the Macy's parade on TV!!!
But i will be in Florida soon, 10 more days in fact. Can't wait!

15 months

Ruby was yoda for halloween, although she didn't get to show her costume off to the neighborhood since the weather wasn't cooperating. she likes the costume, so maybe she can still wear it around for everyone to see!

Right now, Ruby's favorite place to go is the park. She really likes to go down the slide head first, which stresses me out just a little. Sometimes i remember to bring her ball and we play with it in the grass. Most of the time she likes to walk into the cafe at the park just to say 'hi' to the lady behind the counter.

Ruby enjoys saying 'hi' to everyone. When she is in her stroller she waves to people we pass, she says hi to everyone at the grocery store, and also walks around Starbucks saying "hiya" to everyone who will give her any attention. Usually this includes anyone who has a baby with them, because right now she is really into babies, so much so i gave in and bought her a baby doll. I am certain it will show up in a picture soon.

Not only is she friendly, Ruby is also very helpful. She likes to help you do whatever you are doing- putting laundry in the dryer, putting groceries away, dusting, feeding gratch. gratch doesn't mind because this means he might just get extra food, not that he needs it.

american

it is weird living in a foreign country, no matter how much you get used to it or how much you consider it home. when i moved to Scotland, i was glad to be moving to be with david, but i was also glad to get away from the US, especially george w.
I am a liberal, very liberal, so liberal that some have called me the dreaded C- word (communist). I have also been a huge critic of American politics, ethics and economics, and still am. But the funny thing is, living in a foreign country does something to you. You start to miss all that you complained about and maligned. You start to see that America is good, that it is screwed up surely, but it is still home. You start to get mad at the foreign press' picking on the US, blaming it for the woes of the globe, and misunderstanding its culture. You speak loudly enough so the person behind you in line knows that you are an american when they just finished saying something anti-american to their mates. You keep your homepage on .com, not .co.uk, and you watch CNN and the Daily Show whenever you can. I am not saying that I'll stop critiquing america, but i can do this because it is MY america, as much as I am hers.
I am extremely proud of the US right now. As I look back on the last 30 years, I am amazed at how much it has changed and how incredible it can be that Obama is a major party candidate for the Presidency. It makes me believe that anything is possible, and that dreams are obtainable.

14 months

the past month has seen ruby come into one of those 'stages' that we were dreading. she has become very clingy yet headstrong. she wants held when i am cooking, but doesn't want to be touched when she is closing gratch in his crate (a favorite game of hers). She points and says "that" wanting whatever she is pointing at no matter how dangerous it might be (like a knife!). She is getting good at having little strops, she stomps her feet or shakes her fists, and might even scream. she doesn't want to get dressed when naked no matter how cold it might be.... the thing is, i laugh. not 100% of the time (sometimes my patience wears thin), but i try to. if i laugh, she laughs and it passes by. and i want to laugh because here i am watching my little baby become a toddler, becoming her own person, finding her way in the world! what could be better than that!?!?!?
Ruby is expecting the arrival of her US passport any day now! we got it in anticipation for our big trip to florida in december. Although we are looking forward to seeing friends and family, we are really looking forward to meeting Mia Bella Menster! yes, my best friend kim has had her first baby too, and we can't wait to see her.

13 months

officially a toddler now, ruby is really coming into her own. It is funny how you realize (when around other babies) that things you just thought of as normal baby behavior, are actually not universals, but part of your baby's personality. Then again, if you asked me to describe ruby's personality to you, i would have to use other babies i know to define it, such as "she isn't as shy as eva, but not as outgoing as max. she is gentler than libby, but not a pushover either."
after ruby's love affair with crayons at playgroup last week, david and i went and bought her some of her very own. it took us 4 stores to find crayolas, which i couldn't believe! we had a roll of paper and let ruby go for it on the kitchen floor, which she really loved. she is really into boxes and containers right now, so half the fun of coloring is putting the crayons back in their container. let's hope this fascination with putting things away sticks around for a while!

in the mother-hood

i don't know what it is like where you are, but here in dunbar it seems that there are different types of moms, and honestly they don't mix well. think back to your high school cafeteria, and the various different groups that sat together in their places, not mixing with the 'others', keeping to their own kind and bad-talking other types. now think of this scenerio with the people about 15 years older placed on a playground, and you have life in dunbar's mother-hood.

there are a myriad of different cliques, but they can be broken down into 2 larger groups: the mommies who work and those who stay at home. for some reason it seems that the mommies that go off to jobs see themselves as "having it all" and look down upon the mommies who are "only moms". the working mother tends to talk about work while at the park, and talk about their kids when on the train so that they are set apart from the other women who don't fit into their circumstances. they let the stay-at-home moms know that their life is "hard but worth it" that they were "bored at home with the kids" and felt "unfulfilled". few will say it was an economic decision to return to work, but only as an aside.
i am truly blessed to be able to be in the latter group, the gang of women who can and wants to stay home to raise their child(ren). sure it would be easier economically if i worked, but we made a decision that it was important for me to be home with our most important asset. i agree with what all the working moms say: my job is hard but worth it. but unlike them, spending time with the coolest kid in the world rarely makes me feel bored or unfulfilled. going to playgroup, hanging at the park, and going on bikerides and walks with ruby- there is no place i would rather be.
many people have mistakenly pegged me as a feminist, although i have never considered myself one. when they find out that i have given up a career that i love to be a mom, they are floored and intrigued as to why. many of these same people remember me saying "i don't want to have kids", but hey, i changed my mind.... although i would call myself an egalitarian rather than a feminist, to me feminism isn't about being a member of the workforce and not having children. being a feminist is about being able to make your own choices about why you want to do, not having someone else tell you what you are going to do or how far you can go. you can be a strong independent woman and still be a stay-at-home mom. those things aren't mutually exclusive in my book.
do i get bored? do i miss teaching? sure at times, but doesn't every job get a little dull? but yesterday when ruby and i were at playgroup and she picked up a crayon for the first time and scribbled on a bit of paper, well.. there was no where else i would rather be. The "OOOH" she voiced and the grin that came over her face as she grabbed a bunch of crayons in her right hand and held them up in the air to show them to me was priceless.... especially for a girl who was named for a friend of mine who was an artist himself before he died. how could i want to be anywhere else?

1 year old!

Ruby turned 1 year old on saturday, and i have been trying to find time to post ever since! we have been dealing with birthday fallout- putting toys together, recycling boxes, finding places to put everything, etc. Ruby received so many great things for her birthday, I don't know where to start! She hit the motherload when it came to wooden toys, which made us very happy. Blocks, shape sorter, xylophone, activity center just to name some of them. She also got some great clothes for when she is bigger, a few stuffed toys, and loads of books (her favorite). Her 2 big gifts, a tent and a trike, were big hits with her too.
We had a party over at Uncle Stanley's house and invited some friends and a few neighbours. Although the weather didn't really cooperate, we still had a fantastic time. I even think Ruby realized that she was the guest of honor, especially when she stood with her cake and everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to her.
This year went by so fast! i guess they all do.... but she will always be our beautiful baby girl!

frst steps & adventures

yep, she has started! ruby has been taking steps for about a week now. at first it was one shuffle, and then down. now it is about 7-10 shuffles before the bum touches the ground! and she is so pleased with herself when she does it! she giggles and smiles the whole time like she can't believe her legs are moving underneath her. it is fantastic! i hope to get it on video soon, but i need to just have the camera on and ready to go instead of attempting to run and find it when she gets going.
ruby's grandma carolyn and pop-pop artie were here for 2 weeks to see her. we went on a short trip to York and North Yorkshire while they were here. if you ask ruby about this adventure she would probably complain about being in her carseat or stroller too much, but, alas, that is the way of a roadtrip when you are 11 months old. the York Moors are gorgeous, and we also saw Hadrian's wall which was interesting, but the weather didn't cooperate too much (in the 50s and either foggy or drizzling) for the trip. my parents seem to bring bad weather when they come in the summer... go figure, you would think coming from florida they would bring a heat wave! no such luck!
ruby is also stepping up her slick moves on the dance floor. she now "sings" to certain songs, does hand movements that correspond to the words, and does this great head-bob/shoulder lift that is absolutely hysterical. again, something that has escaped the video camera up until now. currently her favorite songs are: Twinkle-twinkle little star, If you're happy and you know it, and All summer long by Kid Rock (must be the southern girl in her).
we are getting ready for the birthday next weekend! the present are bought, the wrapping paper is ready to be used up, and the decorations are anticipating being hung. can't wait!!!

11 months old

it has been so warm here, ruby is trying to cool off via the fridge! well, the first part is true (it made it to 72 yesterday), but ruby's fascination with the fridge has more to do with the novelty of dropping things on the floor than cooling off. we have put copboard locks all over the kitchen, but the 2 things we can't lock are the fridge and freezer!
Still not walking, but Ruby is getting more confident on her feet, less wobbly and more willing to take risks. anything can be used to pull herself up! and she can stand for a long time on her own, but slowly her legs give out and she drifts down onto her knees in slow-motion.
we are feeling the gas crunch over here too, our prices have rocketed in the past few months. we pay about £1.20 per liter, and there are over 3 liters to a US gallon. so say about £5 a gallon, which converts to about $10 a gallon(with the current exchange rates). crazy, eh??? no wonder the cars are smaller, the engines are smaller and we have such great rail service!

summer

I think someone took the scotland that i knew and traded it with some other bizarro-scotland. maybe it is global warming... whatever the fluke, because i am sure it is a fluke, we are having some glorious weather! when i say glorious, i mean the following: high 50s to high 60s, little wind and gobs of sunshine. the weather has been so great that i have been wearing skirts, and ruby has been lathered with sunscreen on her bare arms and legs when we leave the house! i have a fear that someone will wake me from this amazing dream.....

we happen to have a great park near our house that has all the equipment that kids need to tire them out. ruby is a big fan of the swings, and she is getting used to the little slide there too. we try to go a few times a week, but it isn't a best kept secret, so the swings are usually full. this is also the last week of all the playgroups and music times that we go to. they close up shop for the summer, so we will have to meet up with our friends at the afore mentioned park for some outdoor fun. i hope this weather lasts!!!

10 months old

internet? what is that!? ever since Ruby started
crawling, i barely have time to sit in front of this contraption! one of the only things she really dislikes, besides gratch eating her toast, is sitting in front of the computer while mommy types. so if you don't hear from me, or i haven't posted in a while, you know why.
ruby is great. she is funny, smart, friendly and beautiful. we love her and can't say too many wonderful things about her no matter how early she wakes us up, or how many nappies we must change. we love watching her change and seeing her personality emerge. and we love the fact that she teaches us things, in the best buddha-like style.

9 months

i can not believe it! if only the 9 months of pregnancy went by as quickly! i guess expectation makes pregnancy seem so long. now when she is growing and changing you want to hold onto every second of every day, and you realize that life is such a fleeting thing. now when we go to classes, ruby is one of the bigger babies and the other younger babies seem so small and boring. i say to myself "was ruby ever like that? did she ever just lay there like a blob?" i guess it is good that i say this to myself, or i might get myself into trouble with the other mommies.....
although we have both been sick in the past few weeks (and i have been slammed with hayfever), we have been out enjoying the nicer spring-ish weather. ruby has started to go to playgroups and music classes. she enjoys watching the bigger kids (toddlers) play, and is really gentle with the smaller babies.
she is crawling and now has 4 teeth! she is getting better with finger foods, but still prefers her food pretty smooshy. gratch is still her favorite thing, and now he is constantly looking over his shoulder to make sure she isn't sneeking up on him. he grudgingly loves her too, the perfect older brother!

surprise trip!

we just returned home from a very quick surprise trip to Florida! we were only there about a week, enough time to thaw out, shop and see some family. we tried to keep it quiet because we knew that we would not have time to fit everyone in if they knew we were in town. don't worry, we will be back in the US in December for a proper visit!

Ruby enjoyed her first trip to the states. she could wear almost nothing and still be warm, she got carried around by lots of people who were dying to meet her, and she was adored by strangers all over the place. she loves to travel, and did really well on the very long plane rides (lucky for us). she can't wait to go back and see more friends and family in december.

ruby is now over 8 months old, about 19 pounds and beginning to crawl! gratch is getting worried, but he has been giving her his ball so that she is trained early on how to throw it to his exact specifications.

springless-ness

i looked back at last March's entries, and at about the same time last year I was complaining about winter weather at the end of March. I guess i should get used to the fact that 'spring break' here isn't the same as in Florida. Spring break used to mean the beginning of beach attire and tanning lotion, now it means wrestling the north wind over control of the stroller and lotion for chapped cheeks.
ruby is growing and finally getting into 6-9 months clothes. as the scots say she is "coming on well"! she has got this cute little baby belly, and rolls that we like to refer to as muscles. she is getting closer and closer to crawling so we have begun to baby-proof the house in preparation.

7 months

it is mother's day here in the UK, and Ruby is now 7 months! somehow ruby and gratch bought me some fancy chocolates for mommy's day and managed to get me a cute card too! what exceptional babies i have! mother nature is also celebrating the day, giving us sunshine and no wind, a combination that we rarely see this time of year. that means we are headed out for a nice long walk and some frisbee.
march is a month we have all been looking forward to here. for me it means the beginning of spring and time to work in the garden. my garden was neglected somewhat last summer and fall with ruby's arrival, but i am hoping to get it back in shape! for david, march means the start of fishing season! something he has been anxiously awaiting since last october, when last year's season ended. i have promised to take up fly fishing this year, we'll see how that goes. might end up with ruby, gratch and i being spectators and hecklers instead of actual fishers. that sounds more up my alley!

6 months

surely it can't be! half a year since i gave birth? no way!
so, i have been thinking about my life and the past year and how it has all changed and what a crazy and wonderful ride it has been to get to where we are now. there is so much that i have learned in this past year, things that people or books tried to prepare me for, but nothing beats the real-life experience. much of the advice was given by those that love me, but as usual with life, you need to live it to make your own mistakes and to learn it all yourself. so i decided to bore you all with what i have learned in the past year about being a first time mom, if you aren't interested, then stop reading this blog now.....

ok, for all you other people who want a laugh or some actual insight into what my life is like now, here it goes:
What I have learned:
1) get 50 different opinions on everything. Because, there are atleast 50 ways to do things, and it is better to be informed than to guess. You can decide which is best for YOU and YOUR baby after you hear them all, and once you decide no one can tell you that you have no clue what you are doing. Read books about childbirth and being a parent, listen to friends, listen to your mom, listen to your midwife or doctor, go on message boards and then chose what you want to do. parenthood is not a good time to just wing it. when people tell you something that you 100% don't agree with, file it away in your brain so you remember why you chose to do what you are doing. and always remember, most of the people are just trying to be helpful even if you think they are clueless.
2) nothing can prepare you for giving birth, and your birthplan is worth about as much as the paper it is written on. sure there are people who will tell you to have your baby at home, or you MUST go to a hospital, or that modern day delivery is comparable to being raped, but then refer to my first point and say "thanks for your opinion". I had a birthplan that I swore I would stick to, and now when we read over it we laugh at how naive we were! Ultimately you will do what you must do to have a healthy baby in your arms at the end of it all.
3) Be flexible... and i am not talking yoga (although that helps too). Put your baby first and do what is right for them, not what you decided that you would do before you were a parent. Live your life on 'baby time' as much as possible, and take cues from your baby as to what you should be doing from day to day, because it changes daily if not more.
4) Breastfeeding is a bitch, but totally worth it. some people had it easier than i did, but for me it was a huge struggle and i almost gave up. it hurt, ruby had a horrible latch, but it got better. i was told "if it hurts, you aren't doing it right"... total crap. it took me 6 weeks to get it down pat, and i know some people took more -or less- time. most people i know supplement with bottles, and you are not a failure if you have to resort to that. no one should make you feel guilty for not breastfeeding. just try, don't give in, supplement with formula if you must. importantly, breastfeeding is not all about nutrition, it is also about bonding with your child.
5) your body will change. most of us didn't look like Heidi Klum before we got pregnant, and we won't look like her afterwards either. you might get stretchmarks, a linea negra, spider veins, or sag. me, my stomach will never be in a bikini again no matter how much i try to get it there. my body shape has changed slightly since being pregnant, and i am ok with that. i refuse to crash diet to lose weight, because now i have a baby to feed, and a baby to influence with my nutritional choices. i want my daughter to have a healthy relationship with food and eat right. i need to model healthy eating and i don't want her to learn to hate her body.
6) don't buy all the crap they tell you that you must have. there is so much stuff out there that is useless (like wipe warmers), and things that WE personally found impractical (onesies). keep the receipts and tags for everything, because you will want to take things back once you get to know your baby. i knew that i needed to wash the baby clothes before Ruby wore them, but i wish that i washed less of them because we now have clean clothes that were never worn and can't be returned! can't wait for the next nearly-new sale! there are also things that we didn't get that i wish we had, and i am keeping a list for the next baby.
7) it isn't as scarey as you might think. once we got the pregnancy test results, i think we were both nervous about being parents and the level of comitment that entailed. well, mother nature gives you 9 months to get ready for it, and then once you have the baby in your arms, it is all worth it. it is a cliche, but being a parent is the best thing in the world. when i think of Ruby as a teenager, a wave of nausea overtakes me, but i have years of learning before i have to tackle that obstacle. and being a parent is about learning, daily. and loving.... there can never be too many cuddles, too many kisses, too many "i am proud of you"s, too many "i love you"s.... but that is just my opinion, one of about 50 that you should consider.

january

looking back on this cold, dreary month, it has been pretty eventful. ruby is growing up so fast and changing almost daily. you can't blink, or you might miss something of astonishing proportions!
she now has 2 bottom teeth, and her top ones seem to be coming in soon-we have been dealing with buckets of drool! she is in her 'big girl' stroller, sitting up better, and standing for long stretches of time. she is becoming more mobile, finally mastering the art of rolling onto her stomach (although she hasn't figured out how to get back yet), and she can spin herself all over the place with the power of her legs! prior to this month, if she screamed we came running. now if she is quiet, we wonder what has happened to her! she loves to babble constantly, and you can tell by her little noises exactly how she is feeling. she finds everything funny, from sneezing to gratch squeeking his ball. her new toys from christmas are seeing much action, especially anything musical. also, we have been taking Sing & Sign classes to learn baby sign language. Mommy learns the signs while Ruby grooves to the tunes!
we have been experimenting with food this past month, and she is a big fan of sweet potato, carrots and parsnip. she is still too small for her highchair, so we feed her on our lap or in her swing.
ruby also enjoys playing with her friends Max, Libby, Jake, Enzo and Niamh. they are all getting bigger, and it is great to see them interacting! hopefully soon they will get to the (indoor) pool and ruby will get to show off her new swimsuit!

new years

there has been a whole lotta stuff going on around here. it is a new year and ruby has become 5 months old! she also has used her passport for the first time and her first tooth (bottom front) decided to make a grand entrance to mark the occasion.

we just returned from a week in Spain! it was a time for david and i to thaw out a little (it was in the 60s, a nice break for us), and for ruby to see her grandma and grandpop. culturally, i don't know if spain was the best place to go with a 5 month old. by the time we were ready to get out of the flat, everything was closing for siesta, and when we needed to eat dinner, none of the restaurants were open yet! but we got used to the spanish time schedule and had fun regardless.

ruby was great and loved traveling. we had the WORST turbulence on the way home and she just laughed about it while david and i were nervously looking at eachother. i guess it is good to be clueless!